I made it!
It may not seem a big deal for many, and I have to say the run up to it was worse than the actual birthday, but becoming fifty was quite an issue for me. My husband also reminded me, that so was 30 and 40!
Many people would think I was mad to be worried about it, when I should be thankful that I am here! I get that, I really do. I spend many moments of my waking day feeling gratitude for being here on this amazing planet. However, everyone is different when it comes to birthdays. I wasn’t looking forward to it at all.
Should I have had a party?
The year leading up to my Big Birthday has seen me watching my peers turn the corner first. I was seeing other people have big parties to celebrate their big day, and I would worry if I should be doing the same. Just because it was the right thing to do. Was it? Was it the right thing to do?
As you may have read in the previous blog, I mentioned how different it was from turning forty. Not because of the ten year gap, but the fact, as a woman I have hormones running riot, and they seem to be playing a huge part in the whole process. I was beginning to feel quite invisible, hence the title of the last post.
I read a great article by Jane Alexander a few days before my big day. It made me realise I wasn’t the only one who worried about how they look or how fit they are at a certain age. How we compare ourselves to others and how getting older is really quite an issue, especially with Social Media showing photos of flat stomachs, and pert boobs in skinny bikinis. When you are on a good day, you know that with the right camera angle and a decent twist, these people look really slim. They don’t look like that all the time! When you are having a bad day, you just feel really….OLD!
So, how did the day go?
It was just as I wanted it to be. Time spent with MrH and Bobby Boy.
I had more cards than I’ve had in years, and some lovely Facebook messages, despite me not advertising the fact I had a birthday over cyberspace! All it took was one friend posting something on my time line and then others soon cottoned on! I was then astounded by the number of people who left messages.
Messages that made me realise the number of people I know and have touched over the years. Touched physically in treatments, and touched in other ways, like my book, and Reiki courses. It’s not until people say something en-mass, that you have that lightbulb moment!
I wouldn’t be able to help people in the way I do if I was twenty years younger. So turning fifty shows wisdom. Sod the wrinkles!
This is until the next menopausal moment of depression, then I will swing the other way, but I am allowed, because it’s all part of life. Apparently!
A very blustery beach walk.
There was no party! I was so relieved! We decided to go to a beach but the weather can go either way in August. At least we didn’t have any rain! It was so very windy though, it felt like a microdermabrasion facial as we walked along Berrow Beach! I think we only saw half a dozen other people on the whole walk.
It was really lovely to have some time together, being reminiscent of Christmas Day when we were at Dunster Beach. The great thing about living in Somerset, you’re only half an hour away from the nearest beach. I know it’s the Bristol Channel, and not the south coast, but it still smelt of the sea, and the sand still stung our eyes from the eddies coming over the dunes.
Then there was tea.
Every birthday requires tea. Proper tea with white table cloths and three tiered cake stands. Afternoon tea at Ston Easton Park was in a beautiful setting, but we wouldn’t rate the tea anywhere in our Top Ten. No wonder they were quiet! A new pastry chef is really needed, and they certainly could do with offering a selection of teas on the menu, rather than just tea.
It wasn’t our usual standard. Very dry white sandwiches and scones that I could have baked better myself. The cakes at the top weren’t bad, but it wasn’t worth the money, so best not put that on your list of ‘must visit teas!’
We did had time to walk Bobby again in the stunning parkland and grounds. A few mindful moments by the waterfalls and weeping willows.
All in all, it was just as I wanted it to be. Me, MrH and Bob The Dog. Thank you for all the cards and good wishes!
Do I feel any different? Not really, but there was a sense of relief. It may take me a while to totally embrace it, but at least I’m not comparing myself to others anymore! It’s done. I am 50, and people take me seriously. Apparently!